Sunday, August 3, 2014

2nd child syndrome? Mom Guilt #kprocblog

Well Charlotte is about to turn 3, my baby girl, my #disasterbaby, my run for my money child.  Also she is my second child.  Her birthday is around the corner, less then one month away, and I have done nothing, well it feels that way.  Mommy guilt.  Every birthday (the past 6 parties I have held for the kids) have had custom invites, either done on photoshop or crafted by me.  I had everything theme related and made/bought/done in advance.  Poor Charlotte's invites just went out in the mail so people would receive an actual card invite (after I facebook messaged them details to make sure they had the date down), the actual card was store bought Hello Kitty.  Not that there is anything wrong with them, but after just finishing Jack's Minion Party I feel like a bad mom, she gets the short end of the stick.  (As it is she had everything I had for Jack when he was a baby just 15 months before her, all the gear- swing, bouncers, changing table, car seat, etc.  Which I felt a little bad about but then I got her a pink carseat when it came time to move up, and her own crib.  Although she still shares dressers and a closet with Jack, I have some guilt in those areas too.)

I keep saying next year, when she is in school she will have her own friends, well she had school this year, she has one girl she talks about, everyone else is Jack's friend or my friends' kids. 
Then, because procrastination got the best of me again, the place we wanted her party was booked.  Although to not let her feel so bad, I did do this for Jack and by the time I booked his party the first choice was also all booked.   Where we booked provideseverything, so I figured less for me to do, so she won't have the cute matching plates, cups and napkins.  I did buy the matching candle though, that counts right?  I did find favor bags too match and for the boys I did another theme, I was thoughtful in that aspect, +1 for mommy?  

I know at the end of the day she will enjoy herself, she loves attention.  She will be happy eating cake and opening her presents.  She will have a special night on her actually birthday with her grandparents,  aunts and uncles over.  I have done a super job of finding great presents and hiding them.  It will be a very Frozen and Hello Kitty birthday, just last week I found an awesome Olaf, Anna and Elsa tea set while in the city.  

So even if I slacked on certain things, I have been thinking of her birthday the whole time.  That counts too right?  Also all other holidays are even with thought, I don't forget halloween costumes and she always had a pretty outfit at Christmas.  So it's not 2nd child syndrome all the time.   Maybe it will be easier when she can help me, or for her Sweet 16 since she is the only girl, I can out do it all then?  Or she will maybe be like me and ask for just pizza and a DJ.  

Well in less then a month Char will be 3, and my little #disasterbaby (yes I call her hashtag disaster baby), just look it up and you will see why- all the mayhem, messes and daring things she does, she is off to preschool-3 and getting big.  I don't cry for their birthdays and them getting older.  I do cry at the fact that they talk back, have attitudes and like to fight nonstop.  That is siblings, and they are very close siblings.  Nothing can replace a siblings love and bond.  They can mess with eachother but if anyone else interfers, they are the first to stick up for each other too.




So really it's mom guilt. Guilt that I did more for one than the other.  Gulit that I was home with Jack more than Char before going back to work.  Guilt that one had or has more.  Mommy guilt that shouldn't be guilt at all. This is what I am starting: Every time I feel guilt, I am going to list what I feel guilty for.  Next to that guilt list I am going to write down everything I do for my kids and everything they have.  I know that list will be much longer.  I love both equally, I am blessed. So I know I really should have no guilt.  It's just one of those things that comes with the "mom" title.








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